Fri, May 12, 2000, "Daised and Confused"
Story by Deborah Schwartz, Teleplay by Denitra Harris-Lawrence.
Directed by Matthew Hastings.

Wheel of fortune. Your destiny will come into play very soon. If you don't trust in yourself, you will choose the wrong path. I just read 'em. Figure it out for yourself. Next?

Good night, george. I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I don't know why we had to leave so soon. Party was just getting to be fun. Because you were starting to make a bigger fool of yourself than usual. Yeah, yeah. John, what're you doing? What> Give me the keys. I'm fine. You're drunk. And you're not? Look, don't make a scene. Just open up your hand and help me. Got to ruin everything, huh?

What's that card mean? The lovers. You really should stop kidding yourself. Out of the way, princess, it's my turn. Okay, give me my bad luck card and get it over with. What? The tower. You're in for a major disruption in your life. See? What'd I tell you? Bad luck. Nothing says the disruption has to be bad. Well, you're not saying it's going to be good, either.

And it's nobody's business where daisy goes to school. Tracy asked me about her. What am i supposed to do? Lie? That kid of ours deserves to be in a reformatory, not some mountaintop spa. Daisy has you wrapped around her little fingers. Oh, yeah, right, and like you're father of the year now, aren't you? Hey, slow it down now. You're driving like a maniac.

Thought you didn't read your own cards. Full moon out. Too tempting.

Laura, watch out!

Death.

What do you think... Heaven or hell? I'm not sure what the punishment is these days for drunk driving. Guess dad got lucky this time. But then again, that's a no-brainer.

Funeral's tomorrow.

So?

So i think you should go.

From your tone, I sense i'm not getting a choice.

I can't make you go, daisy, but I know if you don't, you're gonna regret it.

What will I regret? That i wasn't in the car when she plowed into the tree?

Daisy... Yeah, under the circumstances, can we just once talk face to face?

No.

Daisy...

No.

Please?

No, thank you. I'd rather not mess with our tradition

of phony anonymity.

You know, I'm going to new york tomorrow to settle some of my father's business affairs. In this last week since he's passed away, I have been experiencing all kinds of different feelings-- sorrow, anger, guilt, loneliness.

My mother's dead. A funeral's not going to change that.

No, you're right, and it might not matter for a few years, it might not matter until much later on in your life, but your feelings might change.

I doubt very much if my feelings--

daisy, go. Go. Trust me on this one.

Well... Who better to trust? So when am i leaving for the festivities?

Are you serious, or are you just humoring me?

Does it matter? I said i'd go.

All right. If you're going to make it on time, you've got to leave right now. I'll ask sophie to drive you. Great, drive-through therapy.

[ Knocking ]

come in.

Well, aren't we in for a fun time?

What'd she mean by that? Is she going to go to the funeral?

Reluctantly.

Well, peter, if she really doesn't want to...

I also volunteered you to drive her home.

What? Me? But I've got my... Why me? Oh, I think the drive'll do you both some good.

Well, what do you mean by that?

You know, daisy's probably going to need some support and adult supervision, and you haven't had a break since you've been here.

Wait, she lives down in colorado. That's like a two-day one-on-one. I mean --

What? You did a good job with kat, juliette...Even shelby, huh?

Shelby hasn't given me an inch, not really. Wait a second, though. If you're going to new york, and I take Daisy, who's going to be in charge of my group?

Roger. Soph, he knows these kids better than most of these counselors.

I'm not doubting his ability. I just...They're my kids.

He'll take good care of them. Come on, you've got to get packed.

You forgetting something? A trashcan usually signifies trash. Well, it wasn't trash the other night. Today is a bright new day.

When are you leaving? Now. You don't want to go, do you? I can't think of anything i'd rather do less. She was your mother. Yeah... Every once in a while, when it was convenient, she'd call herself that. I think I was seven, first day of school. School always starts right after labor day, and alcohol was usually very scarce in my house after a holiday. Anyway, first day of school. I'm looking for my shoe. Need both shoes to go to school. I looked all over the house for my mother. Finally found her in the downstairs bathroom, on the floor, in her bathrobe. She broke a perfume bottle. She was on her hands and knees, trying to lick up the perfume. That was the woman who called herself "mom."

Daze, sorry to hear about your mom. Stuff happens. What're you going to do? Is there anything you need? Well, let's see... I needed a real mother, but I guess there's no chance of that happening now.

If you have stuff to do, I can make these for you. No, that's okay. I need the practice honing my culinary skills. So you going to be able to handle this trip? No. But like i've really got a choice. Can't wait to see dear old papa. Look, um... What if... I don't know, what if I cam with you?

[ Door opening ]

hey. I just heard, daze... I'm sorry. That really sucks, doesn't it? Some would argue that point.

You going to be around later? I don't know. Maybe. I might be going home with daisy. Sure, that's cool.

Yeah... Be nice to get away, you know, give this a rest. You'd really do this? Like i said, I could use a break. And... I don't know, maybe... Maybe you could use a friend.

Kate, do i look like i've gained weight? Yeah, tons. Serious. My mom is coming up here for parents' weekend, and she's bringing number five with her. I haven't met him yet. And she wants you to be the perfect little daughter for him. Kind of. She didn't exactly come out and say it. They never do.

Look at this. This is insane. There's like, 20 pages to fill out for each school. Still filling out college apps, huh? I haven't even started. This is like a full-time job. I don't even know where to begin. Guess your mom and dad must be pretty proud of you, huh? I hope so. Believe me, I didn't make it easy for them.

kate... Do you love your mother? Yeah. Now I do. I know i did before my sister's accident. There was just that space in there... Those couple of years where I really hated her. Listening to daisy talk about her mom, how much she hated her and wished she was dead... I used to wish the same things about my mom.

Even now, when i get stuff like this, I still do. It's all about pain, jules. The people, the things that give us the most pain, that hurt us so much, we wish they would just stop, go away... Even die. Does that make me a really awful person? No. That makes you a really human person.

I trashed my cards. I know they were a gift from you, but... It's okay. Could give you the whole "it'll take time" speech, but I'm not going to pretend like i know what you're going through. That makes two of us. Death... Really creeps me. I mean, maybe that's why it fascinates me so much.

It's like an attraction and a repulsion at the same time. I know. You told me. But this time, it's different. This time, it just scares me.

Daze, look, um... If there's anything i could do... Nothing.

But thanks.

Now, you know auggie's dyslexic. Yes, i know. So am I. Really? Yeah. And you have to make sure and check juliette's food diary every day. And her arm. I'm sorry, roger. I mean, you've been here a lot longer than I have. It's okay. I'm totally humiliating myself, right? No, not totally.

You know, it's not going to be easy with the two of them. Daisy and shelby make their living manipulating. Tell me. They're going to test you. Yeah. Well, I'll just test them right back.

All right. Be good. Be careful on the road. I'll hold down the fort till you and peter get back.

Is this how it's going to be between us now? I don't know. It doesn't have to be. I wish i could believe that.

It's almost like we'd have to start from the beginning again. I'd do that for you.

Shelby, come on, we got to get rolling. Yeah, I'm coming.

I've got to go. Yeah.

Want to talk about it? If i wanted to talk about it, my lips would be moving. I'm just saying that sometimes it really helps. You heard her, she doesn't want to talk. I'm just trying to let-- see, that's your problem. Sometimes you try too hard. It is my job to help. Yeah, well, sometimes you can help more by not helping.

I'm hungry.

[singing] The king of broken hearts

alone here on his throne

he's broken many hearts

each and every one his own

a tear falls from his eye.... [end of singing]

Threes. You notice? It's always threes. What's threes? Things, people, events... Everything comes in threes. I wonder who's next? I don't understand what you mean. Peter's father, her mother... Who's going to be number three? I don't look like half an orphan, do i? Maybe I'll look different once pops buys it. Daisy, if you're trying to shock me... Maybe this isn't about you.

You folks ready to order? Oh, we haven't even looked at the menu yet. Can you give us a minute? Sure. Can I get you something to drink?

Coffee.

Oh, decaffeinated.

Make that a coke.

Diet...No caffeine.

What was i thinking? I'll just have water. Wouldn't want to get crazed on sugar and caffeine. waters all around would be just fine. Sure.

You're not going to give us an inch, are you? Nope. As far as I'm concerned, we follow the horizon rules for the whole trip. And you wonder why none of us ever open up to you. You don't know when to bend. But I do know when i'm being manipulated. Don't flatter yourself.

Daisy, where are you going? To the bathroom. The bereaved are still allowed to pee, right? You can come help if you want.

Real smooth, counselor

"The different accidents of life are not so changeable as the feelings of human nature. I'd worked hard for nearly two years for the sole purpose of infusing life into an inanimate body."

all the time.

Very funny movie, but the real frankenstein is much more.

It's just like one of the biggest horror novels ever.

You're right, but it's even much more than that. The author, mary shelley, was only 18 when she wrote frankenstein.

18? That's it?

Makes you realize you're a lot more capable than you think.

Yeah. Didn't she come up with the whole frankenstein thing telling ghost stories one night?

You're my man, aug.

How'd you know that? I saw it on tv or something.

All right. Here's the deal-- stop doodling-- I want you to read the book and find yourself in it.

What? Relate it to something you're going through or have gone through. There're a lot of themes throughout this book. You've just got to dig them out and write a report.

It's a fat book, man. Yeah, I know. So you can read it the same way i did when i was your age. Books on tape. Same words, just a little different way of reading. Yeah.

Well, this has just been a laugh a minute. Yeah, remind me to talk to peter about retiring this piece of junk. No rush. Well, at least it stopped raining. Oh, man...

It's the fan belt. We were making good time. I can't have you be late for the funeral. That's okay. I don't plan on going to the funeral. What do you mean, you don't plan on going? Well, all this was peter's idea. Why should i stand there shrouded in hypocrisy? Daisy...

Daisy. What? At least be there for your father. He's got to be going through a lot right now. The last time I saw my father, he was begging for his life. I'm sure i'm the last face he wants to see. Let me put it in terms you can understand-- I checked my emotional closet. Shelves are empty. I don't feel a thing for him, and I'm sure it's mutual.

You're his daughter. Tragedies like this bring a family together. Obviously, your family's not a dysfunctional mess. Well, we're not exactly the brady bunch, but, yeah, I'd like to think my family would pull together in a crisis. Must be nice living in camelot.

You are so wrong. You don't have to be an emotional train wreck to be able to empathize and understand someone else's pain. I've had my share.

Really. Is that why you came back to horizon? To share your pain? No. I wanted to finally put down some roots. Horizon seemed like a good place to do it. And peter had nothing to do with your decision? I think you're venturing into private teritory.

Isn't that what you do with us every chance you get? It's my job. If it was just your job to take me to my mother's funeral, you really could've saved the gas money. Daisy. . Look, I know you think you feel nothing right now, but it could just be shock. Or it could just be how I feel.

Why do people even have kids? My parents were obviously miserable before i came along, so why have me? Parents are just people. I thought the same thing until it became a reality. Until what became a reality? Nothing. I just... Nothing. There's that fake to the left again. You can't do it, can you? What a poser. You're in a job where you try to dig out the truth from everybody, and you can't even share your own. That's a really good reason to trust you. Look, it's... It's lots of things, all right? Too numerous to discuss right now.

Like what? Did you get pregnant at 15 and have to give up your baby? No. Then what? Rape, incest, molestation? No. She can't do it. What a hypocritical phony. I can't have children, all right? You want my truth, there's my truth. I'm sorry. Yeah... I'm sure you are.

[excerpt from Frankenstein] "I cannot describe to you the agony that these reflections inflicted upon me. I tried to dispel them, but sorrow only increased





with knowledge." [end of excerpt]

Jules been acting weird to you? She got a letter from her mother. I think it kind of freaked her out. What sort of letter? Her usual mother kind.

What's up, twig? Nothing.

Hey, good book, frankenstein, huh? It's okay. Yeah, I thought old frank was the monster, but turns out he's the crazy doc. So you got one of those letters from your mom, huh? Yeah, kat told me. Kat's got a big mouth. Why doesn't she just mind her own business? Don't go busting her bag or anything, all right? She didn't -- she didn't mean anything by it. You too, okay? Nobody asked for your help. Why don't you just stay out of my face? All right. Stepping off, twig. You don't have to tell me twice.

[excerpt from Frankenstein] "I am malicious because I am miserable. Am I not shunned and hated by all mankind? You, my creator, would tear me to pieces and triumph. "Shall i respect man when he condemns me? Let him live with me in an interchange of kindness, and, instead of injury, I would bestow every benefit with tears of gratitude

at his acceptance." [end of excerpt]

My creator.

Mom? My creator.

Home sweet home. Wow, you live here? What's your definition of "live"? Okay, let's go. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm not ready for this. Daisy, the funeral's in a few hours. Look, I told you i'd go to the gravesite, not the funeral. Hypocrisy's just not my style.

Look, despite what you may think, I really do know how you feel. You don't have to do this alone. Shelby and i are both here for you. You don't know my father. A few drinks in him, and he wouldn't care if you were mother teresa. Daisy, you're going to have to face him at some point. Now's as good of time as any.

She's not ready yet. Look, you don't have to do this. You don't have to do anything.

I want to see where it happened.

The thing is, Doc Frankenstein wasn't so whacked when he started. I mean, he was really trying to do the right thing. So what does that tell you? He was like the dad, you know, but when the creature didn't turn out exactly how the doc wanted it, he couldn't handle it, starting messing with his head.

That's a really good insight. Now just put that in your report. Come on, man, you're like me, you know... I can't write no report.

Who said the report had to be written? For real? You'd let me do that? Yeah. Word.

Hey, aug. Hey, what's up?

[excerpt from Frankenstein] "All men hate the wretched. How, then, must i be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things." [end of excerpt]

Wonder why she wanted to come here. She's trying to get some sort of a connection. She's dealing with a lot of different feelings right now. It's just scaring her. They're not what she expected them to be.

I'm sorry we pushed you so far yesterday. It's okay. That was yesterday. Yesterday's over. I guess it must really bite if you want kids and can't have them. It does. A lot. Does peter know you can't have kids? No.

You okay? I thought I'd find some answers here. It was worth a shot.

I went back to the scene of the crime. What crime? Remember me telling you about my best friend, patty? The one who OD'd? When i found her dead, I just...I left. Yeah, I just took off. But then i remembered something she told me, so i went back before the cops came. I searched through all of her clothes, pulled all her ID, cash, anything linking her to the rest of the world. Why? She wanted to be anonymous. She hated her family, her old life, her friends, everybody in kansas. She never wanted to be found, so i just made it easier for her. She was just jane doe when they picked her up, a non-person, like she never even existed. I wish... I had said goodbye.

You think i should go to her funeral. I think you should do what you want to do.

[excerpt from Frankenstein] "Everywhere I see bliss, from which I alone am irrevocably excluded. I was benevolent and good... Misery made me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous." [end of excerpt]

Almighty god, father of our lord jesus christ, who is the resurrection and the life, in whom whosoever believeth shall live, is not destroyed by death, for god has taken her into eternal life...

What do you think you're doing? I came to pay my respects. Respect? You call this respect, dressed in that ridiculous outfit and that clown makeup? This is who I am. No. Who you are disappeared a long time ago. You don't even know who you are now. Yes, i do. I'm a creature of your own making, daddy.

[excerpt from Frankenstein] "I wished sometimes to shake off all thought and feeling, but i learned that there was but one means to overcome the sensation of pain, and that was death, a state which I feared, yet did not understand." [end of excerpt]

We really should do this again sometime. Can't wait. Daisy, you did the right thing. There's that wacky sense of humor again. Listen, you did the right thing. You showed more guts and courage by coming here today than any of those people could possibly imagine. The one thing he can't take from you is your soul. In their addiction, he and your mother, they hurt and abused you, but they couldn't get your soul, what makes you you, and you just proved that. I didn't say this, but she's right.

Yeah, but what i think the book was really about was that doc, victor frankenstein. Now, he was the guy that created the monster, right? But in the end, he was the one that was loco.

Yeah, but the doc, you know, was just tripping off his mother dying. He figured that the best way to deal would be to bring something else back to life.

But after he created this thing, he rejected it. Because it wasn't perfect, he didn't want anything to do with it.

Okay, but dig it, though, you know, he still learned how to write, he still learned how to read, you know, he still got high on life.

Well, look at all he had to go through to get there. It wasn't until he met a blind man and his family that he got the real love and respect that he craved.

Yeah, but as soon as they saw his hideous face, they turned on him.

I always thought that the monster was innately evil, but that only happened after the doc rejected him, you know, the one person that he wanted to be loved by. That says a lot.

Yeah... And he was still able to give and receive love from other people. That says a lot.

It does say a lot. We're not bound by other people's thoughts of us.

But, ultimately, it was his hate for his creator that destroyed him.

Yeah. That's because he let the hate consume him. It's what we try to get you to understand. Hate doesn't have to dictate your life.

You ready? Yeah, man. That's great, man. [applause]

I knew I never should have gone. You didn't go. What's that supposed to mean? You didn't go... Daisy Graves went. Daisy Lipenowski never showed up. I want to go back.

Back off, twig. Aug, i want to talk to you, please. I'm listening. I at least owe you that. No, you don't. You don't owe me anything. I owe you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way i've been treating you... And the worst part is i don't even know why I've been doing it. I'm just so messed up all the time. Guess you could say the same for everybody. Yeah, I guess.

I tore up my mother's letter and threw it out. It felt great. That's so good, jules. You've got to keep her from messing with your head, okay? Yeah... Like i've been messing with yours? You were always there for me. Any time you thought there was the slightest thing wrong, you were there. Well, that's what friends do.

I want us to be more than just friends. Yo... You're the one that backed off of me, remember? Yeah, but now I'm saying I'm not going to back off anymore. You mean till next time. No more next times, aug. That's what I mean.

You surprised me on this one, mom. I always kind of figured daddy would buy it first. I didn't want to come, but I guess you already knew that. You probably saw me and dad getting into it. Nothing's changed. These past couple of days, I've been searching my heart for anything that will help me cry for you, cry for myself. And you know what? Nothing. You were a lousy mother. I think you knew that, too. Probably why you drank-- I was a reminder of your shortcomings... And maybe why I had to hide behind all this. I don't want to hide anymore. I think I'm ready to be me again. I don't think i need the mask anymore. Ashes to ashes, huh?

Oh, and this... The first song you taught me to sing. Amazing grace. This is the only connection i remember us having. Hopefully, you finally found peace. I will continue searching for mine.

Are you okay? Yeah.

Daisy? Just ignore him. Come on, let's go. No, wait. You're stronger now. Go talk to him. I'll come with you if you want. No, I want to do this alone, get it over with. We'll be in the truck.

Are you sober, Daddy? I haven't had a drink in two days now. Great. You'll let me know when it's been two years. Look, I'm trying. Maybe you can do the same. Try what, daddy? Try to forgive and forget? Is that what you want me to try? Or maybe you want me to try to remember our family's good times together. We had some. Yeah? When? This is pointless.

Daisy... Wait, please. I want you to know that in her own way, your mother, she really loved you. And you, daddy? In my own way. You were my little girl once. Once. Yeah, that's definitely the affirmation i was looking for. This isn't easy for me. You think this is easy for me? My mother is dead, and my father can't look me in the eye and say anything remotely comforting.

Well... Here. Take it. I was... Going to go through it with your mother, but... But...You have it. Do you need anything? Yeah. Parents. Yeah, I know.

You going to open it? Sure. Why not? Daddy's presents are always so thoughtful and exciting. What is it? The ghost of christmases past.

[singing] sweet cherub

come here

sweet cherub

fly near

sweet cherub

come here

sweet cherub

fly near.... [end of singing]

[fade to black]

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